venting.
I don’t claim to be perfect. I have countless flaws and a somewhat seedy past. I’ve tried to make amends for past mistakes. For the most part, fences were mended and I’ve moved on. In those instances where it wasn’t possible to find common ground, I cut my losses and never looked back.
I’ve never understood why some people just can’t move on. There’s this person who I once dated. Ok, more than dated, we lived together for over a year. Things didn’t work out. I did some things i really regret, but she wasn’t an angel either.
Anyway, I’ve moved on…found someone that I’m truly in love with, someone who respects me for me and who loves me unconditionally. I desperately wanted to maintain a friendship with the ex, but everytime we’d spend time together, she’d make me feel guilty for finding happiness in someone other than her.
Eventually, over the holidays I went to meet my girlfriend in person, and she flipped. Called my girl, text messaged her and sent several emails to me while I was visiting. When I got back, she interrogated me about everything, including our sex life. She would call me all hours of the night with some new guilt trip.
It’s been over a year and for some reason she just won’t move on. I don’t fucking get it.
The other day she left a comment in my livejournal, spewing her usual venom. I had to disable the option that allows people to post anonymously in my journal.
I guess what escapes me about the whole situation she doesn’t see that her stalking behavior is wrong. She thinks it’s normal! Yes, the way she stalks us has no grounds for legal retribution, but it’s still creepy as hell and fucking weird. She’ll go visit my girlfriend’s website and read what she writes over there, just to see if she can find out what’s going on in our world. It’s quite pathetic, actually.
Truth is, deep down I feel sorry for her. She’s had a lot of pain in her life and she can’t really help the way she is. She needs help, but is so used to the patterns she’s had for so long that it probably scares her. I still feel bad for all that I put her through, but I’m getting past it. There’s no excuse for what I did, but I realize now that I can’t dwell on it forever, and it’s in the past now.
All I want is to be left in peace to live the new life I’ve found with my girlfriend.
getting past the 7000 dollars you owe me.. getting past the fact you lived in BC and did basically nothing.. getting past the fact my Grandparents (Grandmother) paid for you to even get into school.. getting over the fact you use ppl over and over and over… I have found out this is a pattern … so i wonder what lies you have told about me.. this post seems to be the kind of stuff you spewed about Denise when we first got together.. same script , different name.