Things are a changin’
This is going to be a long one, peeps.
This past weekend marked three years since I took my first testosterone shot. It feels like it’s been so long, so much longer than three years. Of course, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to jabbing a needle in my ass, but it’s the living as a man 100 percent of the time that I’m used to, and often take for granted.
Surprisingly, I’m still experiencing physical changes. I have thicker, dark hair over 85-90 percent of my body. Today was weird. I was laying in my bed today (naked, of course) and noticed that I’m really fucking HAIRY. The body hair isn’t that thick, the individual hairs I mean, but there’s a lot of it and it’s getting darker. Provided it keeps growing, I could be a bear on my fifth year mark. My facial hair is still coming in slowly. I have a bit all over my jawline, but it’s not all that thick and I have to let it grow for about a week for most people to see from a distance. I still can’t grow a mustache to save my life, but my neck hair is really thick and will grow quite long if I don’t shave. I do have some hair on one side of my chin, but I usually shave that off even if I’m letting the rest grow because it just looks dumb.
Health wise, I’m not sure how I’m doing. I was due to see my doctor in a few days, (the 28th, to be exact) it’s been six months since my last doctor’s appointment. I’ve lost 28 lbs, I’m hoping that counts for something. My pants are falling off me, even with a belt so it fucking better!
In other news, I’ve moved. Back to Canada. It’s great to be in my home country in a familiar city with so much to do, but at the same time I feel lost. Even though I’ve lived most of my life in larger cities, I’ve always felt more at home in smaller towns, especially in the country. It’s not only move to the city, it’s the feeling that I’ve lost my best friend. I’m not going to get into this too much in such a public venue, but Kacy and I are barely speaking. It’s not that we hate each other or anything, things are just…different. It does make me sad, she’s been a huge part of my life for so long but I think in order for me to completely move on with my life, it has to be this way. For awhile, at least.
Anyway, I have my own apartment now. It’s small, Probably not even 300 square feet. It suits me though, and even though I’d ideally like something larger, it’s cozy. It’s definitely not a long term space, but for the time being it’s good. I’m a bit lonely, especially not having my dog with me. I should be getting her back soon though, if I can figure out how I’m going to get her here. The policy on shipping dogs is incredibly complicated, and Nashville is a really shitty location to be flying out of in general. Most flights to Chicago, and Atlanta are done by smaller planes that aren’t equipped to carry animals. The only other option is to have her sent directly to Toronto, which won’t work because she’s a pitbull and the province of Ontario has breed restriction legislation. Needless to say, I’m feeling quite confused and overwhelmed right now.
Another thing I should mention is that I’m dating again. I’ve been seeing a few people, but I haven’t met anyone that keeps my attention for very long. I’m sure someone will come a long, but at the same time, I don’t feel like I’m ready to get into anything serious. At this point it has to be my way, or no way. I don’t want to get into another relationship for the wrong reasons. When I am ready, I want it to be…smooth? I don’t want it to feel forced or anything like that. I also want to retain my freedom and be able to go out with friends without feeling like I have to check in.
I think I also may have secured a job, but I’ll know for sure tomorrow. I’m going to the job site at 9am to check things out a little and have them check me out. It’s exterior painting. It’s only for a month but I haven’t been able to find anything else. I guess it’s good for right now. It starts at $11 an hour and quicky goes up to as much as 15 an hour. I’ve never done exterior painting, and I’m a bit afraid of heights, so we’ll see how it pans out.
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