If you can’t or don’t want to watch the videos, I’ll summarize what happens.  In the first video, a man is getting beat up by a trans woman.  This man allegedly said “That’s a man.”  While I don’t believe that woman deserved to have her identity and gender questioned and invalidated in such a way, I don’t think that man deserved to get the shit kicked out of him either.  At the same time, seeing how he called her a bitch after she kicked his ass, I somehow don’t think a verbal debate or something of the like would have done much good, either.  The second video is more difficult to discern what happened.  There are so many people in the video and in the actual attack that it’s hard to make out what went on.  In both videos, the actual events leading up to the attacks aren’t shown, so we’re basing this all on the what the posters of the videos are saying happened.

While it makes me proud to see queer and trans people standing up for themselves in such situations, (and I’m in no way saying they haven’t before) I’m also disappointed that it had to come blows. I can only speculate what was going through these people’s heads when it happened.  Maybe they had a bad day, and this was just the straw that broke the camels back, but I think it’s more than likely that they were just sick of being a target for macho douchebags to use to assert their heterosexuality and masculinity.  I truly hope that the actions of these individuals make people think twice before they start something like that.  At the same time, I still believe that violence isn’t warranted unless it’s in self-defense.

It still boggles my mind that homophobic and transphobic attacks still take place in this day and age, but they do.  Stay safe friends, and take care of one another.

It’s National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo. For all the anxiety and stress it causes, I love November. I have to admit though, I’ve never finished it. Not once. But this year is going to be different. I have a sense of determination that I’ve felt few times in my life. I’m going to run with the novel I have in my head, and hope to finish by November 30th. Keep your fingers crossed for me, friends. I’m going to need all the luck I can get.

Image via Wikipedia

Since most of you don’t know me personally, I’ll fill you in on a little something.  I’m a foodie.  I’m a weird foodie.  I’m extremely selective about what I will and will not consume.  Some people call me picky, I tend to think that I know what I like and I won’t compromise on that.  I’ll try anything at least once but if I don’t like it the first time, it’s highly unlikely that I’ll try it again.

The thing that really burns my ass (figuratively speaking…harhar) is the obsession with making junk food healthier.  Seriously.  It’s called junk food for a reason.  We all know that it’s bad for us.  We all know if we eat enough of it, it will make us fat. We also know that if it’s combined with a well balanced diet, we can get away with it every once in awhile. The thing is, the companies that make these products don’t want us to eat them once in awhile.  They want us to stock our cupboards like good little piggies.  Not surprisingly they’ve found a way to get us to do just that.

In recent years there’s been a ton of media coverage on the effects of junk food, fast food and other less healthy items.  These junk food pushers have caught onto the fact that people are actually thinking for themselves, reading labels and comparing items, even if healthier options are more expensive.  In a bold move to keep customers, they’ve added low or no calorie options.  Here’s my take on the whole thing:

People are greedy.  I don’t know why, we just are.  So if a company labels something that says it’s low calorie, we’re probably going to eat twice as much of it, if not more.  I’d say it was a smart business idea, but it doesn’t exactly take a rocket scientist to figure out that if someone is given the option of having one or two cookies, they’ll generally have two.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ll take that second cookie (and maybe a finger in the process) as quick as anyone.  Except those two cookies you just offered me taste like they were made the same year that the FDA approved aspartame.  I don’t know about you, but if I’m going have a bag chips or a soda, I want that shit to taste good.  I don’t particularly care for chips that taste like cardboard or soda that tastes like it’s gone flat.

The doctor, Catherine Allaire was great. She got right to the point, not a whole lot of mumbo jumbo. Obviously the worst part was the exam itself. I had to have an ultrasound of my uterus. Not fun, but I’m glad I had it done. Apprently I have several fibroids and my uterus is slightly prolapsed. She said that may make surgery easier for her. She also said I’m a good candidate for the laproscopic method, which is what I was hoping for. The healing is much easier and scarring is minimal.I’ll be waiting another six months but I’m sort glad I have to. It’ll give me time to get as healthy as possible and to lose weight.

It seems like this is all finally coming together for me.  It feels like I’ve been waiting years for this to happen, and I have.  I don’t regret it much though, I know I’m going to appreciate it so much more now.  This may seem cliche, I feel like I can finally start my life.  A new life where I’m not in constant fear of the wrong people finding out the way I was born.

I’m keep updating about this process, and the steps I’m taking to prepare for surgery.  I think it will be sort of cathartic for me.

Image via Wikipedia

I have an appointment for my hysterectomy consultation in less than a week.  From what the office assistant told me, I may be able to have my surgery as early as November.

When I first got the news, I was incredibly nervous.  I’m in no way scared about chest surgery, but there’s something about the hysterectomy that freaks me out.  I know that the surgery itself isn’t as invasive as it once was and is really quite common, but the thought of having my innards removed (no matter how much I despise them) makes me feel ill.

In the past month I’ve been becoming less and less nervous and more excited about getting this over and done with.  Don’t get me wrong, I do still have a few crazy ideas running through my head, but I’ve been able to keep them at bay for the most part.

I feel like my life is changing faster than my brain can catch up.  It may seem like slow progress for other people, but my transition process and life path has been much different than most.  I used to feel resentful of people who seemed to have transitioned overnight.  I’d judge them because their parents paid for their surgery or they used student loan money.  I’d be irritated with people who got surgery within months of deciding that they were going to transition.  It’s taken some time, but I’ve been able to put that resentment aside. I realised that my anger wasn’t towards these people who were getting surgery, it was anger at myself for poor judgement that prevented me from pursuing surgery sooner.  I have a horrible habit of beating myself up over things and hold onto that for long periods of time.  The fact is, whatever mistakes I’ve made that got in the way of surgical transition are in the past.  It’s incredibly unhealthy to hold onto that anger against myself.  It’s only making the waiting process more difficult for me, so the healthy thing to do would be to let those negative feelings go and focus on getting in better shape for surgery.

As far as I know, I’ll be able to change my gender on my birth certificate as soon as this surgery is over.  All I need is a letter from the surgeon saying that I’ve had the corrective surgery and a similar letter from my doctor.  It sounds cheesy, but I feel like my life will finally really start once this is done.    Now the only thing left to do is wait.

First of all, I’d like to say that for most people (myself included) being stealth isn’t about being ashamed. For myself, trans isn’t my gender identity. I am male. It’s a medical condition, and transitioning is how I’m treating/managing that condition. It’s not something I like to (or see the the point of) advertise to the whole world. People have all sorts of medical conditions which don’t define their identity. I want be be seen as Lincoln, not Lincoln the trans guy, much like I imagine someone who has Lupus wants to be seen as a person, not for their illness.

All that being said, you may want to take into consideration that I’ve been transitioning for 8 years now, six of those being medical transition. I’m also in my 30’s and have a pretty strong sense of self and where my life is going. I’m confident in who I am and more importantly, I like who I am. I think a lot of the time, people who just start out on their own transition are so excited that it becomes almost an obsession of sorts. Not in an unhealthy way, but it’s definitely something that consumes some people.fd Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to shit on anyone who sees their trans-ness as a part of their identity. If you gain some kind of comfort or whatever from that, that’s great. All I’m saying is don’t make the generalization that every person who chooses not to disclose their trans identity is ashamed. We all have the right to live our lives in whatever way we desire, so long as we’re not hurting people in the process.

In my opinion, the short answer is a resounding YES.

As a person of trans experience who doesn’t identify as either trans or queer, I’m sort of looking at this issue from the outside in,  with the advantage of years of experience in both the hetero and queer communities respectively.

The reasons why the first pride parade was started 42 years ago are plentiful.  Most importantly, people were tired of being bullied by the police, media and government.  They wanted to show others that they were productive members of society, and they deserved the right to be free from harassment just like everyone else.

Back in the late 60′s and early 70′s, a lot of gay bars were operated by the Mafia, and in turn were often the target of police raids.  People arrested in these raids often lost their  jobs, family and often their dignity because all names were released to the pressed and would appear in newspapers the following day.  They were labeled as sexual deviants, perverts and degenerates.

Surely, the LGBT community has come along way since then.  IF you live in a first world country.  In certain countries, trans people can only find employment parading around the homes of tax evaders.  Yet, in other countries men are jailed for marrying each other.  There are still places in this world where being gay is punishable by death.  I remember hearing stories about queers meeting as early as the 1980s in secret.  There’d be little cues so they could find each other, like meet at Fran’s diner on a Tuesday wearing yellow socks.  Can you imagine that there are places in 2011 where people still have to hide who they are?  If you need proof, take a look at this.  These are all people who have been murdered for who they are.

When I attended my first Pride parade 15 years ago, I had been out for a year.  I had attended the Triangle Program  during the previous school year. I had the opportunity to make friends with other queer youth and learn more about queer history.   Not everyone has those privileges.  Not everyone comes from an urban area where it’s generally safe to be yourself.  Many queer people live in rural areas where they don’t feel comfortable being themselves, and genuinely fear the reactions of others in their community.

Sure, Pride has become extremely corporate over the years, with all the floats by huge businesses, it’s no wonder why some have become disenfranchised.  The thing about these huge corps being part of the parade is they have to pay a fee to be in it, and a lot of them contribute financially aside from that fee.  For instance, Air Canada provides enormous performance stages for Toronto Pride.  It’s also become more family friendly, with more cities having specific events for families every year.  It’s a huge boost to the economy of most cities, larger cities with larger parades generally tend to attract tourists from around the world.

It’s not just the fact that being queer is criminalized or unsafe in many parts of the world.  Even in North America, queer people still don’t enjoy the same rights as their heterosexual counterparts.  Gay men are still unable to donate blood in most parts of North America.  Queer couples are still unable to marry in many American states.

Until the queer community has those same rights, they still need events like Pride to stand in solidarity together.  Those who came before for us and paved the road for us deserve to be honored by having us continue the fight for equality.  Not just here in our comfortable part of the world, but everywhere.

Obviously I want to get this done as soon as possible.  I would like nothing more than to past behind me and move on with my life.  I feel as if everything is on hold until then.    I thought that I would have surgery and that would be that.  I’d get my surgeon to write the letters necessary to get the gender marker changed, pay whatever fees required and be done with this whole mess.

It appears that in the province I was born requires that you change your anatomical sex…whatever that means.

Duty of Registrar where sex change 25 (1) Where a person has had his anatomical sex structure changed to a sex other than that which appears on his birth certificate the Registrar on production to him of (a) two affidavits of two duly qualified medical practitioners, each affidavit deposing that the anatomical sex of the person has changed; and (b) evidence satisfactory to him as to the identity of the person, shall (c) if the sex of the person is registered in the Province, cause a notation of the change to be made on the registry thereof; and (d) if the sex of the person is registered outside the Province, transmit to the person in charge of the registration of births in the jurisdiction in which the person is registered a copy of the proof of change of sex produced to the Registrar. (2) Every birth, marriage or domestic partnership certificate issued after the making of a notation under this Section shall be issued as if the registration had been made of the sex as changed. R.S., c. 494, s. 25; 2001, c. 5, s. 42.

Now let me clarify that I don’t have any confirmation that I would have to have bottom surgery to get the gender marker changed. In the trans and gender variant communities, anatomical sex could mean a lot of things.  Of course, I emailed Vital Statistics Nova Scotia as soon as found this information.  I’ve yet to recieve a reply.  Hopefully I can get this done with just having a hysto and chest surgery.

Image by Idhren via Flickr

A lot of trans guys are under the assumption that the only grooming lessons they need once they begin transition are shaving tips.  It is important to know how to properly shave- no one wants to walk around with a cut up face, but I think there are a few things a lot of guys don’t think about.   I thought it may be beneficial to share some of what I used or have used in the past.

Skin care

This is something that most guys (trans or not) don’t generally don’t take the time to do.  I think skin care is something that is very important for everyone, especially for those who are shaving and who are on hormones.  Shaving in and of itself can be traumatic to the skin, particularly if you already have sensitive skin.  A lot of transguys are prone to acne.  I good skin care regiment may help lessen the appearance of unsightly blemishes.

Recommendations:

I recommend anything from The Body Shop.  Not only do they carry great quality product, but all of their products are cruelty free because they don’t test on animals.  I particularly stand behind most products that have tea tree in them.  Tea tree  has great antiseptic, antibacterial and anti-fungal properties when applied topically.  This may obviously aid those afflicted with acne, and is probably healthier than the prescription acne treatment drugs.

Keep in mind that what works for your friend may not work for you.  You may have to experiment with different products until you find the one that suits you best.

Shaving

I recently saw a video of a trans guy hacking off his beard with a razor.   That’s fine and dandy, but a less traumatic (and easier way) to shave a full beard off would be to take a pair of clippers or scissors to get rid of the longer hairs and then if necessary, shave with a razor.  Repetitively dragging a razor across your face is going to irritate your skin and most likely cut you.

Just because you can grow it, doesn’t mean you should.

I see tons of (trans and non trans) men out there with horrible facial hair.  I’m not trying to be harsh.  I’m glad that you’re  able to start growing something, but really…those four half inch long hairs aren’t sideburns.  They don’t look like sideburns so do yourself a favor and SHAVE THEM!  Facial hair is probably the thing that most of us get most excited about.  Give it some time.  It took me almost three years to grow something somewhat noticeable.  I still shave the areas that are patchy.  It just looks cleaner.  Call me vain, but looking well kept makes me feel better. 

Hair

There’s nothing I find more disgusting than dirty, greasy or all around unkempt looking hair.  I lucked out in this department.  My girlfriend is a hair stylist so I get the best hair products for free or way cheaper than retail prices.  For shampoo, I use American Crew Hair Recovery.   My hair has always been on the thin side, and testosterone has taken it’s toll on my hairline.  While I’m not sure if this product induces new hair growth, it does make your hair appear fuller.

I think what I’m trying to stress here is that you should take pride in your appearance.  I know that there’s an awkward phase in most guys’ transition.  That’s normal.  Taking care of yourself will make you feel good and I think being confident is one of the key things that will help you “pass”